Fought you hard to kill the root of all evil. I wish I have fought your initial enthusiasm, your shameless need to pursue me, your undying urge to see me every minute of the day, and your endless pursuit to be a part of my life. Then perhaps I would not be so hopelessly drunk from consuming your infectious affection and attention, and got myself emotionally incapable of loving myself again.Ī silent shade of gray, a persistent numb that leaves me breathless with every recollection. I wish I have refused your feeding me with soya bean milk with your mouth. How am I suppose to now return there, week after week, buying the same fruits, the same vegetables, drinking the same iced tea, and not see you with every churning of my thoughts.Ī silent shade of gray, caressing the dreamy KL skyline on a rainy Saturday afternoon.
I wish you had not come along with me and Mum for our weekly marketing, and sat with us for breakfast at our favourite eatery. Then perhaps I would not have sunk so deep into your insecurities and your lies, and found myself with a broken sense of reasoning, broken beyond repair.Ī silent shade of gray, lost in the hectic bustle of a busy wet market. I wish I had not laid on your lap throughout the journey, thinking to myself that I had not felt so contended with life for a very long time. And then perhaps we could have dragged this impossible fairy tale on a little longer, doesn’t matter if you had wanted to tell me this since two weeks ago, I think I can wait another two years.Ī silent shade of gray, resonates with the gentle murmur of Nicole’s car engine as the gang did a cross-country to Klang for seafood. I wish I had not messaged you in MSN that Monday afternoon, then you would not have had the opportunity to say goodbye. Whatever happens next, I still have the Christmas tree to dream about, at least.Ī silent shade of gray, it comes like a dream gone bad. The silly games people play, and the silly people games play.
#Upd unreplied torrent#
But really let’s just pinch my nose and jump right in, splash myself a torrent of emotions again. But I could count with both hands the days of which this new turn has unfolded. To Penang I hear? Couldn’t give no for an answer, could I. I pinched the screen and resized photos, as though I have not resized a photo in my life before.Īnd a proposal. And too, the distraction posed a challenge too great for me not to submit to. Its very presence is a vivid contrast to the darkened nostalgia gracing every single piece of ornament in this quiet space. The iPhone really shouldn’t be on the table.
Do I look tensed? I swear the sultry tunes of Édith Piaf wasn’t helping at all. We exchanged smiles.Ī little candle holder I soon found nearer to my face, and so had dancing shadows graced my every laughter and delight as seafood and sun-dried tomatoes tickled my tongue.
That was the philosophical day that never quite happened, never meant to happen. About a year back I think? The silent face from across the other table, he’s still there. I just had to surrender myself.Ĭafé Café was just as I had left it. A little Christmassy cheer, I couldn’t help gasped at the sight of the dreamy Christmas tree, its welcoming warmth, like a beacon of love, broke through the dusty night air, and pulled me towards it with every step.
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